Work sure does produce a lot of funny and memorable sayings and quotes! If you’re looking to add some (or a lot) of humor to your workday and share a laugh with your colleagues, you’ve definitely come to the right place. Here you’ll find a selection of funny work quotes that will make you smile and maybe even help you look at your office day from a lighter perspective, because sometimes, that’s definitely necessary!
Work is the greatest thing in the world, so we should always be careful to avoid it.
I love my job only when I'm on vacation.
The problem with doing nothing is that you never know when you're finished.
Behind every successful person is a substantial amount of coffee.
My boss told me to have a good day... so I didn’t go in.
I’m on the patch diet... you know, I just keep patching my projects and telling myself it's going well.
Monday is the day that makes or breaks the week. Let’s try not to break it.
Work hard so you can afford to nap during your breaks.
I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right... even at work.
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My boss told me to start our presentation with a joke. So I used my paycheck as the first slide.
Teamwork makes the dream work, but coffee makes it bearable.
Why do I feel like I’m working for the weekend when I’m only working for lunch?
If work was so great, the rich would have kept it to themselves.
I'm working on a full-time job as a part-time employee.
The only thing standing between me and my weekend is the workweek.
If I can survive Monday, I can survive anything.
My job is secure. No one else wants it.
Sometimes I wonder if it’s too late to become a professional napper.
I’m not a morning person, I’m a coffee person who happens to be awake in the morning.
Sometimes I wonder if I’m at work to make a living or just to stay awake.
If your boss asks you to jump off a cliff, it’s okay to say no—unless it’s in the name of team building.
The only time I set the alarm is when I have to leave work early.
If you don’t know what you’re doing, it’s a good idea to do it with confidence.
Let’s pretend that we work here and act like professionals.
Every morning is a battle between me and my bed. So far, bed is winning.
Dear Monday, I’m so sorry I ignored you for five days. Please be nice to me.
The best way to predict the future at work is to ask your coworker if they’ve heard any gossip.
Work is like a game of hide and seek: the harder you try, the easier it is to hide from your responsibilities.
When I said I’d work hard, I didn’t mean that hard. I meant a nap after lunch.
That awkward moment when you realize you’ve been working for hours but still haven’t accomplished anything.
They say, “Do what you love,” but my passion is naps and snacks.
I have a great job, but I wouldn’t mind a little more vacation time and a little less work time.
My job is to know just enough to make me look busy without actually doing anything.
My workday is a constant struggle between I need a break and I need a nap.
Success is 1% inspiration, 99% avoiding your boss’s phone calls.
If I had a dollar for every time I said, "I'm almost done," I could retire early.
My job description should include “professional procrastinator.”
I have a PhD in avoiding work-related emails.
If you want to make your job easier, start napping at work like it’s part of your duties.
Working from home means wearing pajamas 90% of the time and working the other 10%.
The key to success is knowing when to stop pretending to be busy.
If you don’t like your job, just remember that your boss doesn’t like yours either.
My coworkers are like family: I love them... but I don’t want to live with them.
The best part of my job is the five minutes of freedom between meetings.
If your boss is happy, you’re probably not doing it right.
Hard work never killed anyone, but why take the risk?
If I had a dollar for every time someone told me to "just be patient," I’d be retired by now.
Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm—unless you're at work.
I don't always work hard, but when I do, it’s a miracle.
The best way to get ahead in your job is to master the art of looking busy while doing nothing.
I’m working hard today because I’m hoping it’ll pay off tomorrow... but I’ll probably take a nap first.
If Mondays were shoes, they’d be Crocs—ugly, uncomfortable, and something you can’t wait to take off.
The real work starts once the coffee hits your system.
My boss says I’m a multitasker, but really I just pretend to do two things at once.
Why work harder when you can work smarter? Oh wait, I don’t know how to do that either.
It’s not about how hard you work, it’s about how good you look doing it.
The less I work, the more I get paid. This is my kind of job!
There are two types of people in the office: those who do the work, and those who make the meetings happen.
I'm not lazy. I'm just in energy-saving mode for work.
I’m not lazy, I’m just highly motivated to do nothing at work.
Work would be so much better if it didn’t involve actual work.
I’ve reached the point where I no longer need a vacation. I just need a mental health day.
I work hard so my dog can have a better life.
The key to a successful day at work is pretending to know what you’re doing.
I’m not a morning person, but I am a coffee person, which helps with work.
Job satisfaction is when you can leave at the end of the day and not feel like you need another vacation to recover.
If you can’t dazzle them with your brilliance, just baffle them with your random ideas.
Procrastination at work is the art of keeping up with yesterday’s deadlines.
Sometimes I think about quitting my job, but then I remember I enjoy eating food.
If work was easy, they’d let the machines do it—oh wait, they do!
The best way to get promoted is to do your job like it’s a hobby.
My workday consists of: avoiding emails, pretending to be busy, and checking the clock every five minutes.
We don’t need to work hard; we need to work smart. But that sounds like too much effort.
At work, I’m an expert at being efficient… when it comes to finding the nearest exit.
I’m at work only for the paycheck, but I’m really just here for the snacks.
If you love your job, you’ll never work a day in your life. If you hate it, well, it’s just Tuesday.
What I like most about my job is the paycheck that comes at the end of the week. The work, not so much.
I wish I could work less and still afford everything I need, but for now, the grind continues.
At work, it’s not about the quantity of work you do, but the amount of coffee you can consume while doing it.
Work is like a donut – you have to get through the hole to reach the good part.
My workday is mostly about avoiding distractions, and my biggest distraction is work itself.
If my work was any less exciting, it would be a nap.
Nothing ruins a Friday more than realizing it’s only Wednesday.
Don’t worry about work, just focus on making it through the next coffee break.
My job is secure. No one else wants it.
I think my job is on a need-to-know basis—and right now, I don’t need to know anything.
I spend my days counting down to the weekend and my lunch breaks.
Sometimes, I wonder if my desk is actually a storage area for stress.
My boss is like a cloud. When he disappears, it’s a beautiful day at work.
I wish my job was as easy as it looks when I’m not doing it.
They say do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life. Apparently, I don’t love working.
My work involves a lot of sitting, a lot of staring at my screen, and a little bit of pretending to be productive.
Work smarter, not harder… unless it’s Monday, then just try to survive.
When I said I was “working hard,” I meant I was working hard at avoiding work.
I’m really good at my job, especially when it’s time to clock out.
If my workday had a soundtrack, it would be “Eye of the Tiger” followed by “Take a Break.”
My favorite part of work is the coffee breaks, not the work.
Working 9 to 5 sounds great… if you’re on vacation.
Don’t stress over work. Remember, there are no mistakes, just happy little accidents!
Work is the only place you can lose your mind and still get paid for it.
I’m not saying I hate my job, but I wouldn’t mind being paid to do absolutely nothing.
My job is basically me wondering how to make it to lunch without falling asleep.
Who needs a vacation when you can just take 5-minute breaks every hour?
Work: The only place where you can have an emotional breakdown and a coffee break at the same time.
I'm not procrastinating. I’m just giving my ideas time to mature.
If you think your job is hard, just remember that you’re not trying to do it without coffee.
My job is like a penalty shootout. If I miss, I’m stuck doing it again.
Work hard, nap hard. That’s the secret to success.
I don’t want to work; I want to be a professional napper.
Work would be so much better if there was a constant flow of snacks and no deadlines.
The worst part of my job? The “work” part.
Sometimes, I forget I’m at work and start planning my weekend.
It's not about how much work you do, it’s about how much work you can get away with not doing.
I’ve never been so busy that I couldn't find time for a 30-minute lunch break. Or two.
Work should be like a trampoline: a few bounces here and there, but mostly relaxing.
If work was a sport, I’d definitely be on the bench.
Why work hard when you can work “smart” and still get paid?
If your job is so great, why do you need a vacation?
I don't always have the energy for work, but I do have enough energy for complaining about it.
I love when my job involves clicking a mouse 300 times and calling it “progress.”
The only time I really enjoy work is when I’m leaving for the day.
If I had to describe my job in one word: “overrated.”
I'm convinced that my productivity at work is directly related to the amount of coffee I consume.
Work is like a good nap – you have to really commit to it to get anything done.
The key to success is pretending you know what you're doing while secretly searching Google.
If only I could put as much effort into work as I do into avoiding work.
My dream job? Sitting on the couch and getting paid to watch Netflix and eat snacks.
Work: The place where you pretend to care about things that don’t matter.
Why is work so complicated? Can't we just do nothing and get paid? It works for the cats.
Some people spend their whole day at work, but I just show up and pretend to be busy.
If I didn’t have to work, I’d probably just nap and daydream about vacations.
In an alternate universe, my job is to relax, and work is a vacation.
Work-life balance? I prefer to call it work-‘til-you-can’t-feel-your-feet balance.
At work, my superpower is the ability to appear incredibly busy while doing absolutely nothing.
If I could trade my work hours for more sleep, I’d do it in a heartbeat.
I love my job as much as I love paying bills—both come with stress and very little joy.
The only thing I’m really productive at is counting down the hours until quitting time.
Working hard or hardly working? I prefer to say I’m “strategically resting.”
At work, the only thing I’m good at is pretending to know what I'm doing.
So, while work can be very stressful, we can always add a touch of humor to make it more manageable. Funny work quotes won’t just make you and your colleagues smile, they also help lighten the mood for everyone. So, don’t hesitate to share these quotes with your friends and coworkers, because as we all know, there’s nothing like a good joke to make the office day more enjoyable.
