• Posted Nov 12 • 2024.
The start of a new year is the perfect time for two things: leaving stress behind and laughing wholeheartedly! We’ve gathered over 100 funny New Year quotes for you that will make you start the year with a smile on your face. Get ready to enjoy a good time and celebrate what’s coming with plenty of humor!
Funny New Year’s Quotes
New Year’s resolution: To stop making the same mistakes… but I’ll start next year.
This year, I’m going to make better decisions… but first, let me have one more cookie.
I can't believe it's already New Year's Eve. I still haven’t recovered from last year's celebrations!
My New Year’s resolution is to be more social, so I’ll start by responding to texts in a timely manner… after a few naps.
New Year, same me, just with a little extra confetti in my life.
Here’s to the year we all pretend to stick to our diets for about 48 hours.
Cheers to a year filled with more laughter, less stress, and the occasional snack break.
I’m going to make this year count… starting on Monday.
New Year's resolution: Be the person my dog thinks I am.
This year, my resolution is to be more adventurous. But first, I’ll finish this series on Netflix.
New Year’s Eve: The one night I pretend I have my life together and then panic by January 3rd.
My resolution this year is to stay positive… and by that, I mean I’ll be positive I won’t follow through.
Here’s to making New Year's resolutions we can forget about by February.
New Year’s resolution: To finally learn to love kale… in my dreams.
I’ll be ringing in the new year with a glass of champagne, a snack in hand, and zero resolutions.
New Year's Day: The only day I don’t feel guilty for being late to everything.
My New Year’s resolution? To stop overthinking everything… except my resolutions.
Another year, another chance to be fabulous… or just stay in pajamas all day.
New Year’s Eve is like a fresh start, minus the hangover.
My New Year’s resolution is to embrace change… and then immediately change my mind.
Here’s to the year we all pretend to stick to our diets for about 48 hours.
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New Year's resolution: to stop procrastinating… tomorrow.
I can’t believe it’s been a year since I didn’t become a better person.
This year, my goal is to be less lazy… but not today.
I’m starting the new year with a fresh mindset… and a bunch of leftovers.
Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right… or at least try to.
New Year’s Eve: when your hopes are high, but your energy is low.
I made no New Year's resolutions this year. I’m too busy trying to figure out last year.
My New Year’s resolution is to stop making New Year’s resolutions. But I’ll start next year.
This year, I’m not going to make any resolutions. I’ll just keep doing the same thing and hope for a miracle.
New Year’s Eve is the only night of the year when I can pretend I’m not still working on last year’s goals.
May your troubles last as long as your New Year's resolutions.
I can't believe it's already January 1st! Didn’t I just mess up my resolutions for last year?
New Year’s Eve is the time when we all pretend to be sophisticated until we spill champagne on ourselves.
I’m going to start the year with a positive attitude… but first, let me finish this snack.
New Year’s resolution: To be more organized… right after I find where I put my to-do list.
This year, my goal is to be 50% more productive than last year… but 50% less lazy is probably realistic.
Another year of pretending to be an adult.
My New Year's resolution is to stop lying to myself about my fitness goals.
New Year's Eve: when everyone is determined to party but their couch keeps calling their name.
This year, I’m going to be more spontaneous… but only after I finish planning it.
New Year's resolution: to stop procrastinating… tomorrow.
I’m starting the New Year with a clean slate. And by clean slate, I mean a giant coffee stain on my shirt.
This year, I’m going to be a morning person… just not tomorrow.
My New Year’s resolution is to stop procrastinating… but I’ll do that next week.
Cheers to a new year of pretending to work out more while binge-watching Netflix.
New Year’s resolution: To be more organized, but first I need to organize my excuses.
I’m just here for the snacks and the countdown. New Year’s resolutions are optional.
My resolution is to stop eating so much junk food. Let’s see how long that lasts… about five minutes.
New Year’s Eve is like a pause button for life… and then reality hits at 12:01 AM.
This year, I’m going to do it all. Or at least think about doing it all.
New Year’s resolution: Keep a clean house. But first, I need to clean my kitchen from last year.
Starting the new year with a positive attitude and an even bigger to-do list.
New Year's Eve is the one time of year when my phone battery lasts longer than my willpower.
My resolution is to be a better person. But let’s be honest, I’m just here for the champagne.
This year, I’ll be a better version of myself… or at least a version that does less laundry.
New Year’s resolution: To keep my plants alive for more than a week.
I’m not making any New Year’s resolutions. I prefer to disappoint myself with no expectations.
The best part of New Year’s Eve is the promise to be a new and improved version of myself… until the next snack break.
New Year’s resolution: Be more patient… unless you take too long to reply to my text.
Here’s to hoping the new year will be as good as my New Year’s Eve party plans… which are mostly just staying in bed.
This year, I’m going to be more responsible. But first, I’ll make a resolution about it.
I’m just here for the snacks and the countdown. New Year’s resolutions are optional.
New Year's resolution: To not make any resolutions… and then forget about it by January 2nd.
I’m starting the new year with a clean slate… which I will definitely spill coffee on within the first hour.
This year, I will be more organized… after I finish scrolling through my phone for two hours.
My resolution for the new year? To stop making resolutions I don’t keep.
I’m not making any New Year’s resolutions this year. Why bother? I’ll probably just break them anyway.
Here’s to a year full of good health, good friends, and bad decisions.
New Year's Eve: The one night of the year when my bed becomes my best friend and my pajama game is strong.
This year, I’m going to make better choices… or at least make choices that I don’t regret immediately.
New Year's resolution: Eat healthier, work out more… unless there’s pizza.
Starting the new year with a positive attitude and a cake in hand.
New Year's Eve: The only night when calories don’t count, but the hangover does.
My resolution is to be a better person this year… starting tomorrow.
Cheers to a new year of saying 'I’ll start my diet tomorrow' every day.
I’m not making any New Year’s resolutions. I’m just going to wing it and see what happens.
This year, I’ll finally get in shape. But first, I need a nap.
New Year’s resolution: To finally learn how to cook… but the microwave is still my best friend.
I’m not worried about New Year’s resolutions. I’m just here for the leftovers.
My resolution this year is to exercise more… or at least carry the groceries in one trip.
New Year’s Eve: Where I plan to have everything together and then forget my phone charger.
I’m going to try and be a better person this year… or at least be a better version of myself tomorrow.
This year, I’m going to make better choices… or at least make choices that I don’t regret immediately.
New Year's resolution: To spend more time with family... after I finish this episode.
This year, I will work out more. But first, let me finish my pizza.
I made a resolution to be more organized, but I lost my resolution already.
New Year's Eve: The night I pretend to have my life together until the clock strikes midnight.
My New Year’s resolution is to be more creative, so I’m going to start by avoiding all my responsibilities.
New Year’s Eve is the only time of year when I start with a fresh mindset and end with a pizza.
This year, my resolution is to get better at waking up early… which starts tomorrow… at noon.
My New Year’s resolution is to get rid of all the negative energy… but I’ll start after one more nap.
New Year’s Eve: when the last few minutes of the year feel like the longest few minutes of your life.
This year, I’m going to make better decisions… but first, I’ll make the worst one of all: another dessert.
New Year's resolution: To stop saying 'I'll start tomorrow'… but tomorrow’s too far away.
I’m not making New Year’s resolutions this year. I’m just going to embrace my inner chaos.
This year, I’m going to be kinder… to my pillow.
Cheers to the new year, where I will learn new things… like how to sleep for 10 hours straight.
My New Year’s resolution is to stop making resolutions. I’ll just make better excuses.
New Year’s resolution: To be less judgmental. But first, let me judge everyone’s resolutions.
I made a New Year's resolution to exercise more. My gym membership is still in the ‘maybe’ pile.
New Year’s Eve: The only night I manage to stay awake past midnight… for the snacks.
This year, my resolution is to be more spontaneous… but I’ll wait until I can plan it out.
New Year’s resolution: To be more productive, starting after one more episode of this show.
New Year's resolution: To spend more time with family... after I finish this episode.
New Year's resolution: To stop making resolutions… unless I have pizza involved.
This year, I’m going to make healthier choices. First, I’ll start with this salad… after my donut.
New Year’s Eve is just the universe telling me, ‘You survived another year, now go eat cake!’
My New Year’s resolution is to be more productive. But that starts after my nap.
This year, I’m going to be more active… on my phone.
New Year’s Eve: The night when my plans to stay sober are as unrealistic as my resolutions.
I’m going to make better decisions this year. First, I’ll start by deciding to eat pizza for lunch.
New Year’s resolution: To finally learn to love exercise… but today’s not the day.
My resolution for the new year is to become a morning person. But that will have to wait until after noon.
Starting the new year with a clear mind… and a full stomach.
New Year’s Eve is when I remember everything I promised myself I’d do, but forgot to start.
This year, I’m going to take things one step at a time. But probably just to the fridge.
My resolution for this year is to be more spontaneous… and I’ll start tomorrow.
Cheers to a new year of pretending I’m going to keep my resolutions until March.
New Year’s resolution: To stop eating junk food… but only after I finish this bag of chips.
My resolution this year is to keep a cleaner house. So far, the resolution is still under construction.
New Year's Eve: The one night of the year when I pretend I’m a morning person and stay up past midnight.
I’m starting this year with big plans… and a very large cup of coffee.
My resolution for 2025: Be the person my dog thinks I am.
This year, I’m going to be more focused… after I finish this season on Netflix.
New Year’s resolution: To be more organized… but first, I need to find where I put my resolutions.
New Year's resolution: To be more responsible… after one more dessert.
Here’s to a year of turning our ‘maybe next year’ into ‘definitely not this year.’
This year, I’m not making any New Year’s resolutions. I prefer to be surprised by how little I change.
My resolution is to stop procrastinating. But I’ll get to that later.
New Year’s resolution: To be more organized… but first, I need to find where I put my resolutions.
So, in the end, the important thing about the New Year isn’t about keeping all the resolutions, but enjoying the process and laughing at our little imperfections, which, let’s be honest, are often many, right? LOL. We wish you a new year filled with laughter and fun, as well as good resolutions, and most of all, a Happy New Year!
